Yummo!

I bought a couple of games a few days ago. One was Settlers IV, and I got that one because I love it, it's cute and fun.
The other one was a game I had only tried the demo of, and it seemed to made of awesomecake. Call of Juarez (apparently inspired by a movie I now want to see).
You play two different characters.
One is Billy, the misunderstood and outcast teenager with an emo haircut trying to get to the town of Hope were his mommy lives. Because the world is hard on Billy and he wants some of his mothers cooking (no, really). While playing as him is ammusing enough, the character himself is driving me mad with his whining.
The other is Reverend Ray. An old preacher who is under the impression that Billy killed his brother (Billy's step-dad). If it were up to me, I'd let the good reverend catch him and blow his ballsack off, and I'm still keeping my hopes up.
As you might have figured, Ray-Ray is my favorite, mostly because I have an almost romantic relationship with gunslingers, but also because he's a wonderful and religious nuthead.
Before you get to play as Ray for the first time, here's what he's asking God (because God is not only listening to him, but also telling him things:
"Oh Lord...
It is on this Sabbath day, in this empty church that I pray to thee. What am I to do not to lose faith in the people of this town? Please, God, give me the strength to lead these sinners to righteousness. Last night the demons of my past visited me in a nightmare. What are you trying to tell me, Lord? That the citizens of Hope are descending into darkness, just as I once was, trapped in the shadows of Satan's embrace? I personally invited every last soul in town to today's service. I will bring them your word, Lord. I will show them the way."
As you can see, he's getting there.
Some people -do- show up for his service, but it's interupted because there was gunshots heard at Ray's brothers farm. So you rush over to find Billy there, between the bodies of Ray's brother and his wife. You assume Billy killed them, try to catch him, fails, then heads back to town. The sherrif is not doing a good enough job, so you pick up your guns, while speaking to God:
"That bastard child has been a burden on this Earth since the day he was born. Shiftless no account coward. How dare he end a life as righteous as my brother's! If I could I would kill him.
Lord, is that what you want from me?
To be your sword?
I've spent twenty years preaching to hyenas and wolves, but maybe there are some who are beyond redemption. Is that what you're telling me Lord? To destroy those who cannot be saved? If that is what you want, then that is how I will serve you.
'And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes: and they shall know that I am Jehova, when I lay my punishment upon them!'"
Now we're fucking talking!
Once you've gunned up you see the sheriff shot in the back. And so you decide that Hope is beyond salvation. You go into town, shout that those who still are pure can leave. Then you set about killing off the rest.
The most effective way to play as Ray-Ray is to dual-wield revolvers, but the most awesome way to play him is to have a gun in one hand and the bible in the other! And what happens when you use the fire-button for the bible, you ask?
You quote hymns about fire and brimstone!
I have never used a smiley-face in this blog other than for quotes (that I can remember), but...
...
:D
!

I've also been playing in the Dawn of War 2 beta, and I don't know what else to say than that they managed to make it better than Dawn of War 1. Cover has become a bigger issue, squads and races are better balanced, awesome hero units, leveling-system for all units, if something is there you can shoot it into tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny bits and the dreadnought can walk through fucking rocks, the dreadnought will shut your mouth with metal fist, the venerable dreadnought will end you with flame, as many times as he can!
The only thing I will complain about is that the Eldar (which I still haven't tried) are in it, instead of Chaos Marines or Imperial Guard. But yay for expansion packs!